


Battle Scars From War

by rainbowchristy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Heartwarming, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24249046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowchristy/pseuds/rainbowchristy
Summary: Dan's arms are littered with pale battle scars and well, his daughter is too young to know the truth.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Battle Scars From War

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based off a comment on this (now deleted) video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y2-s5QE1ME

**Age: 6**

“Katie! Dinner time!” Dan called up the stairs, followed by quiet footsteps running down the hallway.

“Daddy!” she called excitedly, jumping into his arms once she reached the end of the stairs.

“Hi, love. Papa’s made dinner.” He carried her into the dining room and took a seat across from his husband, placing Katelyn on her cushioned seat.

“How was your first day of school, love?” Phil asked, twirling some pasta around his fork.

“Good. I made a friend. Her name is Olivia and she’s super nice.”

“That’s good to hear.” They discussed other things as they ate dinner but Katie soon got bored.

“Daddy, Papa, may I be excused? I want to watch tv.”

“Of course, just don’t have it up to loud as daddy and I are talking.”

“Okay! Thank you!” She slid off her seat and ran into another room, the sound of a kids show coming through minutes later.

Dan and Phil talked for a little longer before the two of them cleaned up dinner and moved to the lounge to join their daughter. Phil had some work to do so chose to sit at the table in the room but Dan joined Katelyn on the couch.

“Daddy, what’s on your arm?” Katie suddenly said, eyes focussed on Dan’s arms. His eyes followed her gaze and his smile dropped, remembering the years he’d spent tearing his body apart.

“They’re battle scars,” Dan said, knowing she was much too young to know the truth.

“You fought in a war?”

Dan nodded, “A long and hard one.”

“That’s so cool! Can I get one?” She seemed so excited about this and it broke Dan’s heart to hear his daughter asking for scars like his. Even if she didn’t understand, Dan never wanted her to feel as low as he had.

“No, love. Please don’t ever get any. But I’ll tell you something, if you ever see anyone with battle scars, give them a big hug. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, Daddy! I’ll give everyone cuddles if they have battle scars. I promise.”

“Good girl. Such a good girl. Why don’t you run along and get ready for bed now? Then we can watch a movie.”

“Okay!” she ran from the room, Dan’s eyes following after her. Phil watched the scene from his spot at the table, his eyes filled with sadness but his heart filled with pride.

**Age: 10**

“Katelyn, are you ready?”

“Yes, Daddy! One second!” Moments later, a short girl came running down the stairs, brown hair blowing behind her.

They made their way out of the house quickly. Dan was dropping her off at her first-ever sleepover. It was for Olivia’s birthday party and Phil had finally agreed to have his little girl out of the house for a night.

Once Dan returned home, he and Phil kissed. “She’ll be fine, you know,” Dan whispered.

“I know, I just worry about her.” Dan kissed Phil again to silence him.

“I love you, so much.”

“I love you too.”

Let’s just say they took the opportunity to express their love since their daughter wasn’t home.

~~~~

The next morning, Dan and Phil drove to their daughter’s friend’s house. Phil had insisted on coming because he missed her too much to wait another ten minutes.

“Daddy! Papa! I missed you!” Their daughter called as she ran towards them. After the reunion, they climbed into the car and began the short journey home. “Olivia’s sister had really bad battle scars,” she said simply as if talking about the weather. Of course, she still didn’t understand the social customs around talking about those kinds of scars.

“What do you mean, love?”

“Her sister, the battle scars on her arms were all red and angry. I didn’t mean to see, I thought it was the bathroom but it was her sister’s room. The marks weren’t like yours though, Daddy. They leaked blood. Yours are white and hers are red. Why are they different?”

“Oh, love, well, my battle scars are pale because I’ve finished my war. Olivia’s sister must still be going through her battle, so her scars are all red and mean. What did you do when you saw?”

“I gave her a hug. That’s what you said to do.”

“That’s good, love. I’m so proud of you. You get extra dessert tonight for being so good.”

“Yay! Thank you!” Dan made a mental note to call Olivia’s parents to tell them.

**Age: 15**

Dan and Phil were sat on the couch when their daughter came running into the house, heading straight up to her bedroom. The two fathers shared a worried look before they stood and followed her to her room, knocking quietly before entering.

“Love, what happened?” Dan asked, taking a seat on the side of the bed his daughter lay on.

“O-Olivia, she-she, marks-” she stuttered out before sobbing again.

“Love, you need to calm down. Breathe with me, okay?” Phil said, taking over. He’d helped Dan calm down from crying fits countless times. Whether it was stress from life or his own mind, Phil had always been there to help.

Dan watched as his husband helped her breathing slow. He waited a few minutes before asking again, “What happened?”

“Olivia, um, she’s got scars. Real scars. Why did you always say they were battle scars? You’ve never been to war and neither has she! Why did you lie?! I hate you! Why do people do that to themselves?!” She shouted, tears beginning to roll down her face again.

Phil quickly became angry at his daughter’s words. It was a foreign feeling but he couldn’t control it. “Your dad has never lied to you, don’t ever say that again. He has been through a war. It was just inside his head. Don’t you ever minimise the amount of pain your father went through,” Phil said. How could she say Dan never fought a war? Just cause it was in his mind didn’t make it any less real. He calmed down, however, when Dan placed his hand on Phil’s shoulder, squeezing lightly.

“People add battle scars to their bodies to handle life. Olivia, she needs you. She doesn’t realise how much but she does. You need to be there for her, okay? Go and give her a big hug and never let her go. People going through a war, well, they need someone to help them. They need a war hero. Phil was my hero, and you can be Olivia’s.”

“Okay, Dad. I love you, I’m sorry for getting angry and-and saying I hate you. I’ll-I’ll call her, make sure she’s okay. I was just mad at myself for never noticing before. She’s suffering and I didn’t do anything to stop it.”

“Hey, that’s okay. Don’t blame yourself, you didn’t know. Now that you do know though, you can help. You can’t help someone if you don’t know they need helping. And, most who are going through war think they have to do it alone. They need a friend.”

Katie nodded, tears still streaming her face as she leaned forward to hug her fathers. They’d been through a lot together since she’d joined their family at age two.

Her fathers were right. Those who are going through a war think they must fight alone. But they don’t. They can’t. Fighting alone is a slow and painful process. It’s much faster with friends and family on your side, helping to defeat the demons of your mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't think I was writing enough angst lately so this happened. I'll probably post more soon.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Feedback/Constructive criticism is always welcome!
> 
> Check out my tumblr if you’re interested in more —> fadingcrystalvoid.tumblr.com


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